10 facts about a Malaysian

By sofyan
14 facts about a Malaysian:

1) Bebudak sekarang hafal semua player Liga England .Bila ditanya pasal pasukan Malaysia. Haram tak ingat!

2) Bila ada Streamyx, Complain Streamyx Slow la..Slowmyx la apa la..,Bila ade Maxis Broadband selalu DC la tak stabil lar..,Bile ade P1Wimax complain mahal la,Laggy lar...In the end,you say streamyx still the best lah...

3) Bila harga tol naik seposen complain semua dlm paper,internet satu kampung kecoh tol naik seposen , Pegi STARBUCK kopi satu 18 hinggit tak pulak complain.

4) Bile kerajaan keje slow.. "Melayu Biasala...."

5) Bile beli barang harga RM10 tapi sebenarnya harga asal RM1... "Cina Biasala...."

6) Bile bangunan runtuh, Jalan rosak ke... "India Biasala...."

7) Bila Student Cina dapat scholarship ...You say "Wah! Very clever hor?" Bila Student Melayu dapat scholarship you say "Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!"

8) Harga gula naik seposen kecoh nak boikot, Rokok naik tak reti2 lak nak boikot!!!

9) Bukak Universiti banyak gile sampai tak cukup tangan nak kira, Bila nak carik kerja aiyoooo banyak susah ooo!!!

10) Kalau nampak melayu minum arak,peluk2 cium you say "Biasa lar trend sekarang" bile nak makan kedai cina soalan pertama ditanya " Halal ke ni? "

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Masalah WiFi

By sofyan



Laporan : Effi Saharudin

JINJANG: Persatuan Pemilik Kafe Saiber Selangor (PPKSS) hari ini menggesa kerajaan memantau jumlah kawasan WIFI percuma sekitar Selangor dan Lembah Kelang. Ini adalah kerana menurut mereka, semenjak terdapatnya banyak kawasan WIFI percuma perniagaan kafe saiber mereka terjejas teruk. Salah seorang ahli PPKSS yang hanya mahu dikenali sebagai Ah Beng berkata;

“Dulu bulak latang kedai saya hali-hali main DOTA sama Counter Strike. Sekarang ah.. budak talak latang lagi kidai saya. Diolang sumua ada laptop main sana McDonald sama kedai mamak. Talak perlu bayar mau pakai internet. Sikalang kidai saya talak student ponteng mali main game. Kalau macam ini ah, wa gulung tilam bulan depan lor!”

Encik Beng juga menambah bahawa beliau mungkin terpaksa memulakan bisnes mesin judi haram dan penjualan VCD sekiranya perniagaan cafe saibernya lingkup. Metroll difahamkan terdapat lebih 5000 kafe saiber di sekitar Selangor dan semunya dilaporkan mengalami kerugian semenjak kedai-kedai makan mula memberikan khidmat WIFI secara percuma. Sementara seorang remaja yang kami temuramah ketika sedang asyik bermain DOTA di sebuah kedai mamak berkata;

“Saya dulu selalu pergi ke CC untuk bermain secara online. Tapi sejak CC asyik kena serbu saya tak berani pergi lagi. Serik bang lepas kena tali pinggang abah saya. Lagipun kalau main di CC mahal. Satu jam 2 ringgit. Kalau pergi mamak saya bawak laptop sendiri, order teh tarik dah boleh lepak sampai bila-bila. Lagipun kalau lapar saya boleh makan sekali. Dekat CC mana boleh order makanan panas. Zaman abang dulu ada la makan-makan dalam “kafe” saiber. Sekarang nama je "kafe" tapi air pun tak jual!”

This post has been edited by soundsyst64: Jan 15 2010, 04:50 PM
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Marketing Rules

By sofyan
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - *That's Direct Marketing.*

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - * That's Advertising.*

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - * That's Telemarketing.*

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - * That's Public Relations.*

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - * That's Brand Recognition.*

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me! "She gives you a nice hard slap on your face."- * That's Customer Feedback*

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.- * That's demand and supply gap*

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you sayanything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him. -* That's competition eating into your market share*

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - * That's restriction for entering new markets*
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